February 14, 2022
Alcohol. Is it really worth it?
Those days wasted. Those plans cancelled. The overwhelming feeling of guilt and embarrassment the next day. The heavy head and painful stomach. The black outs. The tears. This is just a small list of the consequences of drinking.
Okay, I’m not going to be completely negative. There are some positives. The buzz it gives you like nothing else can. The ability to speak to new people without a care in the world after you’ve had a couple. The confidence it gives you to dance on tables with not a care in the world. The way it makes you feel invincible.
But is really worth it? Waking up with a banging headache and trying to piece the night before together. The feeling of being ashamed and embarrassed mixed with nausea and numbness. I’m sure the night before you felt a million dollars but it also means for the next week (at least) you can end up in some very dark places in your mind.
Alcohol induced nights have often ruined my entire weekend as well as crushing my mental health. I’ve had to cancel plans that have been in the diary for weeks due to me being unable to get out of bed and face the world. I’ve missed days at work due to feeling groggy and unable to concentrate. Unable to face anyone. It leaves me feeling empty and alone. Ashamed of what I may or may not have a done.
What did I say to that person
Did I look at them funny
Did I go too far
I often think of the pros and cons of drinking and it’s a no brainer that the cons massively out weight any pro and still it doesn’t stop me.
What it comes down to is the problem with saying no to a drink. I feel like when I refuse a drink I’m instantly ostracised. I get funny looks off everyone like there is something wrong with me. I’d even go as far as saying I’ve been in situations where its socially unacceptable to not have a drink.
I’ve had the following said to me-
What’s wrong with you
Oh come on, let your hair down
You may as well not be here then
You’re going to miss out
I always start with good intentions and give in and have a drink. Then another and another ( you know how it goes). Before I know it I’m in a place where I can’t control my actions and words. This scares me.
I spend the whole weekend lathering my eyes with cucumber as they’re swollen and puffy. I rack my brains to try and remember what stupid thing I’ve said or done. I’m scared to look at my phone or to speak to anyone. I hate myself.
Please can someone tell me, what is the point?